Our lives are full of ups and downs. Often we get so caught up with the downs in our lives that we fall into depression. We feel that everything in life is falling apart. You regret the choices you’ve made in the past and feel that you have failed in life. Understand that you can not go back in time and undo choices you’ve made but that you can stop yourself from repeating the past by making smarter decisions so that you can have a better future.
YOU control your future PERIOD. Not your parents, not your friends, not your coworkers. Question is are you willing to make the necessary changes to come out victorious.
Life being full of ups and downs reminded me of the concept of change. My friend posted something related to this as a status that I thought was interesting…
Dear everyone who says “OMG, my life has changed so much!”, life is a process of change. If you aren’t changing, you aren’t living. It should be much more shocking if you wake up one day and say, “OMG, my life hasn’t changed at all!”
Yes, our life is full of up and downs. We also cannot change the past, but we can make better choices in the future. We should not have regrets, because at that time it was exactly what we wanted. We should always learn from our mistakes. Our parents, friends, and all the people around us merely help guide us in the right path. Each one of us knows what the best decision for ourselves is, and it is our responsibility to take that chance no matter how much fear we may have in us to go through with it. This makes you the person you are today and helps you find yourself in the future.
I would change the first sentence to “You control your future, for the most part”. I definitely support taking responsibility for your actions and the concept of forging your own destiny, but you can’t argue against the fact that sometimes a person’s future is drastically altered as the result of something completely out of his/her control.
Look at people who have lost everything to a hurricane or tsunami, or people who are held in slavery or become the victims of violent crime. Look at a responsible driver who is paralyzed after being hit by a drunk one, or a mother whose entire life becomes consumed by supporting her leukemia-stricken child.
Mad props to the go-getters who stay strong when times get tough, but I hope for their sake they don’t have to learn the hard way that they are not God.
Great post.
I agree with it completely and feel very strongly about it.
To Sarah’s comment…
Sarah, i understand your sympathy towards people who are affected by external complications. But these should not be taken as obsticles, but instead as challenges. Because someone has been affected by a hurricane or by rape, does not mean they are in harder situation than the next to acheive success in life. Life isnt something that you can succeed at by monetary issues, its about a peace of mind and accomplishment. Many take their past struggles and use them to do better greater things.
What im trying to say is that it doesnt matter what your past is, what struggles you face, what natural disasters have hit you, or what economic standing you are currently facing, no matter what we all have a chance to succeed in life and its up to us to find that strength no matter what external forces may try to hold us back.
Remember, quality of life is always more valuable than money.
– Nick
Nick,
I made no reference to quality of life. The post was about one’s ability to control the future. I took that to mean the events of the future.
I think your comment “Because someone has been affected by a hurricane or by rape, does not mean they are in harder situation than the next…” is disrespectful and untrue. Yes, people do have the ability to overcome obstacles or challenges, whatever you want to call them. But if you were to go through something like that you would gain a lot of respect for the amount of sweat and tears it takes to climb up out of it.
So while I agree that stumbling blocks can be made into stepping stones, I would like to advocate for a more reverent approach to this topic- and that it not be talked about so lightly. There is a clear and drastic difference between the amount of effort it takes for someone to overcome atrocity and the amount of effort it takes for someone to sail through a relatively easy life.
Sarah
I think that we can achieve what ever we want to achieve if we really try. Some of us just say that we really want something but we don’t take action. That’s also why life has ups and downs. We face obstacles so that we can learn from them, grow from them, and become stronger individuals.
A personal story:
I live downtown and I was walking with my friend at 11pm on a Monday night to go to her apartment so I could print a paper I had due for summer school the next day and hang out for a bit because we had hardly seen each other all school year. We were walking by a park, while my friend was on the phone I noticed 5 shadows in the distance. As they came closer they were 5 african american males who were completely silent, not saying a single thing to each other…but just walking towards my friend and I almost staring us down as they walked past us. I kept my ear out because I had a feeling that something was about to happen… So as my friend and I kept walking, I heard footsteps close behind us, and I turned around and saw one of the guys walking really fast about 1 foot behind me. I turned back around to my friend who was on the phone and whispered to her to “watch out”. So she looked back, moved over on the sidewalk, and I moved over too. Right then, he stopped, pulled a gun out and said “give me your purse”. My friend who was on her phone saw the gun and screamed and ran down the street. Time was distorted at this point because I was in such shock, but he was pulling on my backpack at this point asking for my “purse” referring to my backpack..and I turned back to where my friend had ran away and saw her in the distance, then looked back at the hole in the gun…the pressure of the finger on the trigger…his shaky hands..his nervous looking face…observed his tall physique..everything. Time was distorted..and I finally snapped out of it, realized “im still alive” and begged “please dont shoot me please dont shoot me”. I never gave him my backpack..so after I begged for mercy..he ran away, and I ran the other way towards my friend.
The experience was very traumatic. And I just keep wondering…why me? Seriously, why me? I always go out of my way to make people happy, I listen to my mom, I pray to God every night, Im focused in school not even for myself..so that I can have the education and job in the future to be able to help other people, I make good choices, Ive never even smoked a cig in my life… like why me? What did I do wrong?
But I always try and find the best in every situation. I thank God for keeping me alive, for letting my friend run away safely, I thank God that my belongings weren’t taken, I thank God that I identified the guy. I am really thankful.
I think its really important to focus on the good things in life…and the bad things aren’t that bad either, they give us drive. They are the obstacles that we overcome to become stronger people.
After being in front of a gun, I feel like I can do anything… Seriously, I feel like if I was able to stand in front of that gun for however long I stood there..I am able to conquer anything and I will make sure that I do.
I don’t want any (innocent) person in this world to ever suffer…and I’ve always felt that way…but this obstacle has given me the drive to make sure I accomplish that.
🙂
Thanks.
Pari,
You are meant for something big believe me. I truely believe everything happens for a reason.
Iv had knives and guns pointed at me more times than I can count I don’t even remember the feeling I had from my first encounter.
It happens to us to make us strong, and when we get weak, something happens again to keep us in check, we can never steer off course, always know what you want and strive for it, let nothing stop you, scare you, or hold you down
you really can do anything, but only if you want to. Only if you really want to.